im lying to my therapist : by More by mck
submitted Wednesday Dec 19th, 2007
Secrets
I recently had to take a forced health leave of absence from college because I had a mental break down and slit my wrist and ended up in the hospital. The only way i can go back is if my therapist gives me permission. She thinks Ive made a lot of progress, but I know things have gotten worse. Everything I do, I am consciously pretending to be okay.
After a while, i started to believe my act and think I am cured, but i havent even been able to confront the most important things myself. I am not getting better and i am tired of therapy and medication. At this rate, my therapist and parents will gladly send me back to school this spring. And the thing i want most right now is to get away from here, and give myself a chance at school again. on the other hand, i know theres a good chance im gonna fuck up with everything at my disposal, and i am terrified i will crack. I dont have any close friends there so Im scared.
I could tell my therapist that Ive been lying to her for months... but I dont know what good that would do. Going to school may be a huge risk for my mentality, but staying home again will kill me. I cant do this any longer. If my parents knew how i really felt and what i was really doing, they would never let me move back to college.
I dont know what to do. I dont kknow what i need to do. But i know what i want to do, and what i want to do is get out of this house and give myself another chance at school. That might not be for the best tho...
Comments on im lying to my therapist
differant road : sounds like you are at a point in your life where you need to fess up and take a differant road than the one you are on. Staying where you are will only make you weaker and you need a lot more strength than you are showing now by Anonymous Commentor on Sunday Dec 23rd, 2007
just tell her : ok?? by Anonymous Commentor on Monday Feb 25th, 2008
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